ASK AUGIE – JANUARY EDITION…

A svelt, pre McNugget eating Augie Johnson

...then and now!

Dear Augie,

‘You are strangely silent on the Paleo challenge. Do you have any words of inspirational wisdom? ‘

Starting in August, I can’t sleep, I get the shakes at inopportune moments and have wild nightmarish visions of giant marshmallows chasing me across a sea of McNuggets just at the thought that I am four months away from the next paleo challenge.

I will confess my terrible secret to my wonderful CrossFit friends that I eat badly and in vast quantities. In the three weeks prior to Paleo, I have hit for the cycle with a ‘supersize hamburger meal’ at Jack in the Box, Burger King, McDonalds, Wendy’s and topped it off with two triple patty In and Out’s and multiple equivalents from other chains salted up and down the 101. I wolf down hard, fatty, carbohydrate laden and preservative infused foods and quarts of cola in ridiculous amounts on a daily basis.  And that is just for lunch.

On weekends, our family devours huge mounds of whip cream and syrup drenched, flap jacks, eie Kuchen, Swedish crepes, waffles (both frozen and homemade), chocolate chip pancakes and French toast by the loaf followed by gallons (literally) of milk.

I offer no excuses because my diet (or lack thereof) is inexcusable. It is just what I have done since I was in high school and those gastronomic reflexes are truly hard to break. At the same time there is some precedence for my current blighted Paleo efforts.

Thirty years ago in college and for the Olympic trials, our six hour per day training regimen was such that we could not gain an ounce of weight no matter how much we ate. At the Olympic training camp, my body fat index was the lowest they had measured and below their minimum scale (Sub 3%). My college coaches were so concerned about my need to gain weight, they put me on a 12,000+ calorie per day diet (that included a chicken, two pizzas and 24 eggs per day) No weight gain. None in four years.

I stayed at 182 lbs from my Redshirt freshman to my senior year although I was on the dorm food plan for my early evening meal, ate a second meal at my fraternity, ate at third meal when finishing up the hashing at the sorority I worked for and then ate the basketball players leftover KFC chicken and the fan’s half eaten hot dogs (the uneaten ends) when I finished my chores as a night janitor after the UCLA basketball games at the Wooden center. (Note to self: even after polishing off a sixth half-a-dog in the empty stands, when you have worked up a powerful thirst, take an extra careful look at the full coca cola cup underneath the bleacher seat less you chug it in an attempt to slake your thirst only to find out it is actually wintergreen flavored chew spit)  Brrrr. To this day, wintergreen flavored gum is the only thing still banned from my menu.

Last week, a college teammate of mine visited me with his wife and four kids and we regaled everyone in our family to death with our former exploits. He then took out a picture of us when we were young and bullet proof. (age 21) After a second bottle of Cultivate wine, I thought that it would be a good idea to recreate the 30 year old picture much to the drop-jawed protests of our better half’s. The gross tally:…30 years and 120lbs of additional mass between the two of us!

Swallowing my pride through the sharing of that second picture with all of you is a small price to pay if it provides a cautionary and hopefully inspirational illumination of the insidious and slow creep of ages and the inherent need to begin a dietary discipline earlier rather than later in life!

So as you ponder the Paleo challenge and your relationship to food intake in general, think that life goes by in an instant…an eye blink and you are 30,40,50 and beyond. Absorb picture two in all its glory and with your imagination, ponder how you would like to be viewed (and feel) at a half century and beyond. Working at CrossFit is a damn good start. But it is only an entry point to a more difficult but ultimately more satisfying life of health through better eating. I am hopeful that I can find the courage to engage myself.

Warmest regards, and much encouragement, Augie

Today’s Workout:
Deadlifts 5-5-5-5-5

Followed by:
3 Rounds for Time of
20 Wallballs (20#/14#)
200 M Run

Today’s Paleo Deliciousness

Sweet Potato Pancakes

2 cups shredded sweet potatoes
2/3 cup almond flour
1 shallot, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
2 large eggs, beaten
salt and pepper to taste
grapeseed oil for pan

Directions: Mix all ingredients in bowl. Heat a small amount of grapeseed oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Scoop about 1/4 cup of mixture in already hot pan. Flaten to shape of pancake. Cook about 3 minutes per side. Serve with a poached egg and sauteed greens.

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