GET A HAIRCUT, YOU ZOMBIE LOVIN’ HIPPIE.
By
I'm "this much" stronger than you!
Due to some of the less than stellar scores on the last Zombie Survival Quiz (with yours truly coming in with a strong D-), the educating must continue. Per the Zombie Survival Guide, here’s just one more tip to keep you all alive.
”Cold, hard figures have show that when battling the living dead, nothing has saved more victims than basic, tight clothing and closely cropped hair. The simple fact is that ghouls attack by reaching out to grab their victims, pulling them in, then biting. Logic dictates that the less material a person offers up for grabs, the better his or her chances will be (duh). Baggy clothing, complete with pockets, straps or anything that might hang freely, will be a convenient handle for grasping zombie claws. Anyone who has worked in factories or with some heavy machinery will tell you the importance of never letting anything hang loose. Tight clothing, obviously within comfort limits, will help to eliminate this danger. Hair can be a similar hazard. Many times, victims have been seized and even dragged by their hair to a gruesome end. Tying one’s hair back before a conflict may work temporarily. However, a short haircut, one inch or shorter, is idea for hand-to-hand combat.”
Since we care as much as we do, Eric and I now have clippers available here at the gym and are more than willing to selflessly exchange haircuts for baked goods. (cough…Lisa…cough)
Today’s Workout:
5-3-2-1-1-1 Reps of Power Snatches
Followed by 1 Round of Tabata Jump Lunges
18 Comments
December 11th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Welp, I’m screwed.
December 11th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Yes ATrain, you very well may be. Unless you counter that lions mane with elite physical fitness and fighting skills. However, in the midst of a full on Zombie Apocalypse I doubt we’ll be to concerned with appearances. Many women will no doubt be rockin’ the Sigourney Weaver look.
December 11th, 2009 at 10:41 am
For another perspective on the whole “cut my hair” concept, I refer you as follows: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KXaXY0diRY
The Claw
December 11th, 2009 at 10:58 am
claw that is my favorite csny song. so good. i didnt even have to click the link to know what you posted.
December 11th, 2009 at 11:45 am
A-train, you’re screwed. Not only do you have an explosion of head handles, your running is…um…you know, not as good as your deadlift.
December 11th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Great tune Claw!
December 11th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Do Zombies fear lawyers as much as mortals do, or are my superpowers lost on them? The answer — obviously — matters a great deal.
The Claw
December 11th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I would venture to say that the Zombie Local Union fears a class action suit as much as their living counterparts.
December 11th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Why don’t we chip in and get A-Train a swim cap? It would be a real shame to lose her.
December 11th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
A-Train’s mad deadlifting and cooking skills would serve us well.
Unfortunately, her inability to skeedaddle whilst being pursued by a mob of ravenous brain eaters is a hindrance.
I vote we buy her a Rascal scooter to go with the swim cap.
Or we could use her as bait to lure the Zombies into the kill zone.
December 11th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Claw – Everyone fears lawyers, even the dead!
Cill – it’s everyone for themselves (unless your a CPC member, we’ll band together) when the dead hit the fan.
Migs – super uber double secret bonus points for using “skeedaddle” in a reply here. If you were single, I’d let you date my sister.
A-train as bait! I like it. Baitrain.
December 11th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Well we all know what happens to the jail bait…I mean BAIT, just bait!
December 11th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
This Zombie invasion is going to call for a lot more teamwork than I originally thought: swim caps, bait, what else?
The Claw
December 11th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
I think a Rascal is a great option for A-Train…BUT we may run out of power. I think a rickshaw would be a good option and we’ll just let Fielding run her around.
So Claw, we need swim caps, bait, and a rickshaw.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I think even pulling a rickshaw Fielding would still pass us all up on the run. (remembering the day he did “Murph”)
December 11th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
BaitTrain’s back from the dead list of brains to eat:
1. Migs
2. Trav
December 13th, 2009 at 3:04 am
BaitTrain, eating the x-fit family! nice comeback! When you are a zombie, you will not get to cook anymore.. I say we pitch in and get matching swim caps for the whole crew, (then we can swim for warm ups in the summer and look like total Bad ASSES!) or just get one really sweet Cap for BaitTrain. I got $5 on it.
I will have to replace my tie-dyed pants with a fanny pack with swim caps, flares…….
…. I dont want to die in my hippy pants, that’s for sure…
I will not really be dying, if I live on eating brains and I can not think of a better pair of pants to wear while eating brains.
and traver, what’s up? you have a sister? Is she hot?
December 13th, 2009 at 3:06 am
I am not an actual lesbian, I only play one in travers mind. hahaha
Note: it is late, yes, but not 3 am, my clock says 12:05.